You've put this together well. Good job on good writing.

As for your defunct friend relationship. I had the same sort of thing happen. It hasn't resolved itself. She's changed her mind (I guess--we've had no contact for about twenty years now).

Losing her friendship is honestly the only thing in my life I have bitterness about. I'm letting go of that now too.

Like you, I want someone to love me despite my flaws. I know I was a really good friend to her. There's no excuse for her except her own narrow mind.