Thanks for writing this Brenda Fredericks. One of the things I take away from this is an even deeper understanding of the damage that resentment can cause. It sounds like your Uncle was doing his best. For some folks, even though their best isn’t what we wish it to be, it is really all they can manage.

I’ve got a family member with addiction. I’ve gone to my fair share of Al-anon meetings and learned how to manage my resentments and anger over time. My loved one hasn’t done her steps exactly the way I wish she would. I’m probably the wiser person of the two of us and chances are she might be happier if she did things the way I wish she would. What I need to remember though is she is juggling her own balls. And it is her life.

Bottom line is she is sober. She goes to her meetings. She isn’t going around wrecking things any more, no more stealing and cheating and lying.

Addiction is hard for all involved. It only adds another layer of hardship when we sober folks sit around thinking about what could have been, should have been. No one can go back and change their past mistakes.

I’m so glad you and your uncle found each other again and I’m sorry for your loss.