My solution was to give her eulogy. It was a tribute but I got to take a poke by quoting Leonard Cohen, Anthem.

"Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in"

Everyone thought she was perfect because she took her swipes at me when nobody was watching. It has taken me a while to figure out what she meant by "You weren't what I expected but I loved you anyway."

Oh, really? I've never been able to be anyone except who I am and for that I am thankful. I've been too stubborn in my life to let her convince me I'm something less that what I know myself to be.

Francesca, you Mom sounds meaner than mine. You sound awesome though. Celebrate it.