My Mom died when I was in my 50"s. I’d finally gotten to the place where I was going to live my life anyway. I lived (in sin- uh oh!) with my now husband for seven years before we got married and my Mom didn’t break in half. Do the YouTube and if you don’t tell her up front you’re probably good anyway. She”ll never find you. If she was interested she would be reading you on Medium. You are sooooo way less interesting than Campbell’s Cream of Planned Parenthood Soup.