My first husband died when I was in my forties. I met my now husband about three years later. I knew a lot of other widows then and most of them had such a specific list. A lot of them are still single....

I think the list can get in the way. pf finding love.

My non negotiables were:

financially secure. My first husband was irresponsible with money and because of his fight with cancer and being out of work we ran through most of our savings. I was left in a very precarious place. I didn't expect a new man to rescue me but I wanted to start over again with some padding.

Intelligence.

:Liberal politics.

Kind to others.

Generous. .

I also wanted someone child free (he was not but I love my step-daughter. She was difficult and I was determined. She's a plus in my life now for sure!)

I wanted a non-smoker. My first husband was a smoker and he died of cancer (mysterious origins but we all knew it was his smoking.) When I started things with now husband, he had recently quit smoking. Within a year (before we got married) he started again but he already had his hooks in me. LOL. I hate his smoking but he doesn't do it around me, doesn't smoke in the house and he brushes his teeth after he smokes. He smokes little cigarillos which don't stink like cigarettes so there is that.

Supportive of what I want. He gives as good as he gets.

My widow friends had such picky lists. Your list is almost completely understandable but I do think the socks and sandals thing is a little bit ---narrow minded. I'm thinking you are kidding....if you aren't I beg you to give that up!

My now husband is always late and I'm always on time. Viva la difference!

We've been together for 17 years now.

I don't think anyone should settle but you might be amazed at what you find acceptable if you find a truly good man--quirks and all.