Jakob,

I am sorry for your loss. I was widowed in 2002. ]

I think the things I highlighted (and other things too) are universal truths when you lose the love of your life.

What I’ve found over these (gulp) 17 years is that I’ve gotten used to life without him in it. Where my tight little family got wrecked (Him, Me, our daughter) my world has shifted and includes some new faces.

We still have a relationship. I’ve gotten used to how this relationship of ours IS- which is a little bit strange, not everyone wants to hear about it but nevertheless is a real thing.

I’m remarried, which I was certain years ago would never happen. I’m glad to get more love. It doesn’t feel exactly the same as what I had because its not. It’s its own thing. It’s a good thing.

When John first died I was pretty amazed that the world kept going on. As in stores were still open and people still had parties and drank Starbucks. I eventually figured out that we each have this private, singular core. Every time there is a death, someone else sadly, learns to feel the same way I feel about loss. It’s one horrible club, isn’t it? Funny thing is though, I’ve made some good friends from the members of this horrible club. It’s how I met my now husband. He lost a wife before me.

I’m sorry for your loss.

I’m sorry for your loss.