I'm no Zsa Zsa Gabor.

All I've ever wanted is quirky. Probably the same thing as Nutty. Maybe not.

I also want a man who likes to smoke weed. A woman (like me) really doesn't want to have to find her own dealer. Because I'm a lady.

I would really hate any man whose turtle had its own Instagram. Just sayin'. The dog voice thing sounds like something I'd really like right after smoking weed.

I'm deep into marriage #2. He likes dinosaurs and steals little bits of other pieces of people's plants to start for himself.

I love him just as much as #1.