Everyone or at least most everyone knows someone who died. Why is it then, that people just don’t want to deal with the concept of death. When my husband died I joined an online bulletin board for young widows. A popular thread there was titled “Say Their Name”.

My family lost a member when I was a child, my brother Mike. It got to the point where years would go by with nobody saying his name. We all missed him in our own way and yet everyone was afraid of stirring up painful memories. Saying his name would not have created any pain that wasn’t already there but maybe if his name was spoken more his memory would have stayed sharper. He was 13, I was 9 and I have a tiny handful of memories. When I ask my three older brothers about him they shake their heads and act as if he didn’t exist. They knew him longer than I did.

Thank you for telling us about Pearl. Your story resonates in so many ways for me. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child and I’m sorry for your loss.