Aabye-Gayle,

I enjoyed reading your thoughts about atheism and afterlife. I am an atheist. My atheism means I do not believe there is a higher power who created, a higher power who directs etc. There are a lot of things Christians say and believe about their God that I don’t believe.

However, my atheism doesn’t mean I don’t have faith. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe anything at all. I stand firm at I don’t believe we humans have the ability to understand most of that which follows. My faith means I believe (truly believe) there is more. I can’t define it because A) I’ve not witnessed it with my own eyes and B) I’m pretty sure it’s so outside of our experiences here on earth as humans that we can’t begin to wrap our minds around it.

I watched my husband of 24 years die when I was in my forties. We had a powerful love connection and his passing meant a lot of different things to me. Since his death I’ve gotten more than a few indications that his energy still exists and that somehow he sends me indications of this. These signs are varied, complex and powerfully meaningful. If you are curious I’ve written about these experiences on Medium (I’d be glad to share links to those articles).

I am not afraid of death. Years after my husband died I sat with my mother during the last two weeks of her life. She was devoutly religious — it really bugged her that I was not. What I found through the experience of being with her as she died was that her faith was not absolute. She questioned her beliefs, was afraid of what she faced. I told her what I believe and it seemed to calm and comfort her.

Through my life being an atheist, when I’ve opened my beliefs to the religious I’ve gotten many unusual reactions. I’ve had Christians ask me why I bother to do good things, why I bother to care for my fellow man, to treat others as I myself wish to be treated. My answer has always been “because it is the right thing to do, because I can feel empathy for my fellow man, because I choose not to cause pain to others.” When met with these questions I’ve asked the questioners the same thing. The answer is typically that they want to avoid negative judgement from God when they pass. When I’ve dug deeper, they come up with the same answer as me. They really do just want to “be good” and it has less to do with Judgement than with empathy for their fellows.

Discussing religion is multi-faceted. I just thought you might find some measure of enlightenment to hear that not all atheists “don’t believe in anything.” I believe in a lot, I just don’t believe in God.